Meet The Spartans Full Movie
| Meet the Spartans | |
|---|---|
| Directed by | Jason Friedberg Aaron Seltzer |
| Produced by |
|
| Written by | |
| Starring | |
| Narrated by | Robin Atkin Downes |
| Music by | Christopher Lennertz |
| Cinematography | Daian Deon |
| Edited by | Peck Prior |
| Distributed by | 20th Century Fox |
Release date | |
Running time | 83 minutes[1] |
| Country | United States |
| Language | English |
| Budget | $30 million |
| Box office | $84.6 million[2] |
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Meet the Spartans is a 2008 American parody film directed by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer.[3] It is mainly a parody of the 2006 film 300, although it also references many other films, TV shows, people and pop cultural events of the time, in a manner similar to previous films that Friedberg and Seltzer had been involved in such as Scary Movie, Date Movie and Epic Movie. The film stars Sean Maguire, Carmen Electra and Kevin Sorbo.
Meet the Spartans opened at #1 in the United States and was a box office success, despite receiving overwhelmingly negative reviews. The film is now considered by some critics to be one of the worst films of all-time.
- 3Release
Plot[edit]
The film opens with a Spartan elderinspecting three babies. The first, an ugly, talking baby ogre (Shrek the Third), is abandoned to die for its deformity; while the second, who is Vietnamese, is adopted by Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. The third, Leonidas, is accepted as a Spartan for his already-present muscular physique and prepared for kinghood through brutal training. An adult Leonidas (Sean Maguire) is cast out into the wild, survives the harsh winter, and hunts down a gangstapenguin (Happy Feet). Returning a king for his inauguration wearing a penguin skin hat, Leonidas sees Margo (Carmen Electra) erotically dancing and asks her to marry him, to which she responds by giving him the combination to her armor-plated chastity belt.
Years later, Leonidas is training his son when Captain (Kevin Sorbo) informs him that a Persian messenger has arrived. Accompanied by the Spartan politician Traitoro, the messenger presents Xerxes' demands for Sparta's submission. After growing angry with both the messenger's disrespect and finding him making out with his wife, Leonidas kicks him into a pit. Despite Traitoro's advice that the messenger's guards are now needed to convey the actual message, Leonidas kicks them in as well, along with several other people he simply dislikes, such as Britney Spears (Nicole Parker), Ryan Seacrest, and the American Idoljudges. Resolving to face the Persians, Leonidas visits the prophets and gives them medicines such as Neutrogena as their price for their consultation. They advise him that he should consult the Oracle for any advice. The Oracle, Ugly Betty, reveals that Leonidas will die should he go to war.
After reaching a decision while spending the night with his wife, Leonidas meets the soldiers assembled for his departure to Thermopylae, and finds that only thirteen were accepted in the army due to stringent requirements. Among them are Captain, his son Sonio, and a slightly unfit Spartan named Dilio. Once at the Hot Gates, they encounter a deformed Paris Hilton (also played by Parker), who tells Leonidas and the Captain about a secret goat path above the Hot Gates that Xerxes could use to outflank the Spartans. When she asks to be made a Spartan soldier, Leonidas rejects her as unqualified due to her inability to use a spear correctly. Leonidas and his platoon soon face off with Xerxes' messenger and his Immortals, beating them in a dance contest before driving them off a cliff. Xerxes (Ken Davitian), impressed, personally approaches Leonidas and attempts to bribe him with a trip to the Palms Hotel and Casino. Leonidas declines, and the Spartans face the Persian army in a 'Yo Momma' fight, which the Spartans win, but Dilio has his eyes scratched out and wanders away.
Hilton decides to betray the Spartans and reveals the location of the goat path to Xerxes in return for various gifts and for having her deformed hump removed. Xerxes meets the twelve remaining Spartans and the war begins. Meanwhile, back in Sparta, Queen Margo has several confrontations with Traitoro, as he is the vital vote in sending more troops to assist her husband. Following her address to the Council, Traitoro publicly betrays the Queen. The Queen then battles Traitoro in a parody of Spider-Man 3 and defeats him using a dust buster. With Traitoro's deceit exposed, the council is united with the queen.
At the Battle of Thermopylae, the Persians introduce their secret weapons, Ghost Rider and Rocky Balboa, who kills Sonio with a decapitating uppercut. Captain avenges him with Botox poisoning before being struck down by Xerxes. Leonidas pursues Xerxes and plays Grand Theft Auto:San Andreas. Managing to find the 'Transformer Cube', Xerxes uses it in a car to become Xerxestron and shows off his powers to access the 'Leave Britney Alone!' video on YouTube. However, Xerxestron accidentally trips on his extension cord and falls on Leonidas and the surviving Spartans, killing them. The blind Dilio eventually returns to Sparta to tell of Leonidas' final moments. A year later, Dilio leads a larger Spartan force to defeat the Persians, but the blind warrior ends up going the wrong way. They end up in Malibu, where they knock Lindsay Lohan down as she is leaving rehab again.
Meet The Spartans Free
Cast[edit]
- Sean Maguire as King Leonidas
- Zachary Dylan Smith as young Leonidas
- Kevin Sorbo as Captain
- Carmen Electra as Queen Margo
- Ken Davitian as King Xerxes
- Diedrich Bader as Councilman Traitoro
- Travis Van Winkle as Sonio
- Jareb Dauplaise as Dilio
- Nicole Parker as Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Ellen DeGeneres, Paula Abdul
- Ike Barinholtz as Le Chiffre, Prophet, Dane Cook
- Hunter Clary as Leo Jr.
- Phil Morris as Messenger
- Method Man as Persian Emissary
- Ryan Fraley as Brad Pitt
- Tiffany Claus as Angelina Jolie
- Nick Steele as Kevin Federline
- Tony Yalda as Sanjaya Malakar
- Christopher Lett as Randy Jackson
- Jim Piddock as Loyalist, Simon Cowell
- Nate Haden as Ryan Seacrest
- Crista Flanagan as Oracle/Ugly Betty, Spartan Woman
- Robin Atkin Downes (uncredited) as Narrator
- Thomas McKenna as Tom Cruise
- Jesse Lewis IV as Ms. Jay Alexander
- Jenny Costa as Tyra Banks
- Belinda Waymouth as Twiggy
- Dean Cochran as Rocky Balboa, Rambo
- Emily Wilson as Lindsay Lohan
- John Di Domenico as Donald Trump
- Jim Nieb as George W. Bush
- Tiffany Haddish as Urban Girl
Release[edit]
Box office[edit]
Meet the Spartans opened at number one at the US box office, grossing $18,505,530 over its opening weekend,[4] narrowly edging out fellow newcomer Rambo, which was briefly parodied in the credits of this film. The film dropped 60.4% in its second weekend grossing $7,336,595 expanding to 2643 theaters while ranking fourth at the box office. The film grossed $38,233,676 in United States and Canada and grossed $45,787,889 Internationally, adding up to a Worldwide gross of $84,021,565.[2]
Critical reception[edit]
The film received overwhelmingly negative reviews from critics. Rotten Tomatoes ranked the film 25th in the 100 worst reviewed films of the 2000s, with a rating of a mere 2%.[5]Metacritic reported the film had an average score of 9% out of 100%, based on 11 reviews — indicating 'overwhelming dislike' and being the worst received film by the directors on the site.[6]
One reviewer for The Sunday Herald in Scotland, UK gave the film a score of 10 as did Ireland's Day and Night while an Australian newspaper review described it as being 'as funny as a burning orphanage'.[citation needed] The Radio Times said 'After enduring the torturously unfunny Date Movie and Epic Movie, one could be forgiven for concluding that the art of cinematic parody was in terminal decline. This latest installment in Friedberg and Seltzer's franchise hammers a final nail into the coffin with an utterly atrocious collection of imbecilic skits.. it's junk-food cinema at its worst. One cringes to think what future cultural historians will make of it… and us.'[7] In London, The Times reviewer Wendy Ide suggested that the producers of the film were not aiming for 'laughs' but 'a simian grunt of recognition from an audience that must have been practically brain-dead to fork out £10 to see a film that can’t even master the concept of out-takes?'
Most of the film's criticism consisted of not having many actual jokes and instead having an over-reliance on pop culture references.[8] Several recurring gags were criticized for being overused, such as throwing various celebrities down the Pit of Death or the ambiguous sexuality of the Spartans.
The film's score by Christopher Lennertz was commended by Christian Clemmensen from Filmtracks.com, who considered it one of the biggest 'guilty pleasures' of 2008.[9]
On January 21, 2009, the film received five nominations for the 29thGolden Raspberry Awards:[10] Worst Picture (jointly with Disaster Movie), Worst Supporting Actress (Electra), Worst Director, Worst Screenplay, and Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-Off, or Sequel.
Home media[edit]
The film was released on Blu-ray Disc and DVD on June 3, 2008, in an 'Unrated Pit of Death' Edition and a PG-13/theatrical release of the film. The theatrical cut does not include extras but includes widescreen and full screen versions on one dual disc. A 'ruder & cruder' version was later released in the UK on August 18.
Fast cleaning: Remove the pot rests and wash in the dishwasher. Fast clean-up with dishwasher-safe grates. Things worth knowing about Miele Gas Cooktops. Design Heating styles for individual cooking habits. Various types of heating are available for Miele cooktops. Miele offers the right cooktop for every cooking preference. Miele cooktop cleaner. Things worth knowing about Miele Induction Cooktops. Variety of sizes. Accessories and Cleaning Products. Original accessories Shop Accessories at a glance. Cleaning products Shop Cleaning products at a glance. Subject to technical changes; no liability accepted for the accuracy of the information given! We purchased the hob cleaner on the advise of a Miele repairman. We have a Miele induction cooktop and a steam oven, which we really like! I had used a few cleaning products on the induction cooktop (made of glass) but none of them seemed to remove all the grunge that accumulates on the surface.
References[edit]
- ^'MEET THE SPARTANS (12A)'. British Board of Film Classification. January 11, 2008. Retrieved March 15, 2015.
- ^ abMeet the Spartans at Box Office Mojo
- ^Meet the Spartans at IMDb
- ^'US Movie Box Office Chart Weekend of January 25, 2008'. The Numbers. Retrieved January 31, 2008.
- ^'Meet the Spartans - Movie Reviews, Trailers, Pictures - Rotten Tomatoes'. Rotten Tomatoes. Retrieved January 28, 2008.
- ^'Meet the Spartans (2008): Reviews'. Metacritic. Retrieved January 28, 2008.
- ^'Meet the Spartans (2008): Reviews'. Radio Times. Retrieved December 13, 2009.[permanent dead link]
- ^'Meet the Spartans - Bottom Line: '300' was funnier'. The Hollywood Reporter. Archived from the original on May 25, 2017. Retrieved January 28, 2008.
- ^Meet the Spartans (Christopher Lennertz) at Filmtracks.com
- ^John Wilson (January 21, 2009). 'RAZZIES.COM 2008 Nominations'. Razzie Awards. Retrieved January 21, 2009.
External links[edit]
| Wikiquote has quotations related to: Meet the Spartans |
- Meet the Spartans on IMDb
- Meet the Spartans at Box Office Mojo
- Meet the Spartans at Rotten Tomatoes
- Meet the Spartans at Metacritic
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Don't see this movie, even if you liked similar spoof movies (like Scary Movie).
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1. Be timely. A joke about Ellen in Mr Wrong? Really?
2. Be funny when offensive. Accident prone kid in Scary Movie 3, mildly funny. Assault on a kid by Spartian, not funny.
3. Be subtle sometimes. Not everything has to go to the extreme.
4. Be broad. Go everywhere for your spoofs, not just the same wells over and over.
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY..
5. DON'T EXPLAIN EVERY RIFF AND SOURCE MATERIAL. If you have to tell your audience where it comes from, chances are it's not funny.
The fact that this film is only 60 odd minutes plus one of the longest credit sequences loaded with even more unfunny deleted scenes (seriously can't those wait for the DVD no one should buy either), that's just adding insult to injury.
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I implore anyone to check out the following spoof movies:
Airplane! Top Secret The Naked Gun The Naked Gun 2 1/2 Hot Shots Hot Shots: Part Deux Kentucky Fried Movie (yes, its 'old' but a classic none the less) Mafia! BASEketball Scary Movie 3 Sacry Movie 4
Not all of these are great. Many are a product of their era. Some are downright 'average' spoof movies, at best. But compared to 'Meet the Spartans' (or Epic Movie or Date Movie) they are a BILLION times better. And they have one thing in common.. Zucker / Abrahams / Zucker (also must give props to writer Pat Proft). These guys INVENTED this genre. Watch these films and you will realize Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer are talentless hacks who think just making a reference to pop culture is funny.
If Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer are reading this, I suggest you might want to watch these movies as well. You might learn a thing or two.
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'Meet the Spartans' has the sparse running time of 65 minutes (not counting the lengthy end credits), which was a blessing to the audience. The jokes all feel like ones that 9 year old boys would find hysterical, where everyone else would just hate them. Other than spoof jokes, every other joke is one involving pain. There were dozens of crotch hits and back breaks. There are also many gross out, vomit, sneezing, and boil bursting jokes. There was one joke that had me mildly chuckling, but then they killed the joke by over explaining it. It didn't need to be explained, a monkey could understand it. Repetitiveness was the only word that comes to mind when watching this. King Leonidas knocks a messenger in the hole, then his two men. Okay, not funny, but at least it's over..right? Nope. Then he knocks Sanjaya, Brittany Spears, Kevin Federline, The American Idol judges and Ryan Seacrest in the hole. After the credits seem to be over, deleted scenes are shown simply to make the movie more than 70 minutes. During the deleted scenes, Dane Cook, George W. Bush, Tom Cruise, and Ellen Degeneres are also knocked in the hole. The joke is done 10 times over.
The two extremely untalented writers of this mess want to include every movie possible, and mention every celebrity they can, and include any show they can cram in. There are 3 instances of celebrity panels judging the Spartans in this, and it's not like it was a running joke either. It was just lack of ideas. Much of the celebrity humor was just the celebrities pointing out their character traits. Paris Hilton, who is in a few scenes, but ultimately disappears with no point, talks about her jail time. Brittany Spears acts crazy. Lindsey Lohan gets out of rehab. Tyra Banks shows her cellulite. And every other celebrity that is made fun of, has the exact same role. Also, there is a joke in poor taste. When Leonidas is going to be killed by a talking penguin, it says, 'Say hi to Anna Nicole Smith for me.' These idiot writers are stooping as low as to make fun of people being dead? It's terrible. References to TV were thrown around, usually making no sense and totally pointless. Ugly Betty is the oracle. Just plain stupid. The movies were also thrown about all over so people in the audience could say, 'Duh, I know what they're referencing.' To give away a mild spoiler and one of the dumbest scenes in the movie, Carmen Electra's character turns into Spiderman and she beats up the Sandman, who is then pooped on by a cat. It made no sense why it was thrown in here. That's how I felt about pretty much every part of this movie though.
Now, back to myself. When the movie ended after just over an hour, I had a headache, and wondered how dumb some people truly are, because nobody of any intelligence could've thought this was hilarious. But of course this is my opinion, and warning, don't see this movie! It will cause depression.
My rating: Possibly worst movie I've ever seen. 80 mins. PG-13 for language, sexual and crude humor.
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I set up camp outside the box office 2 days before tickets went on sale to be sure we got the first tickets accompanied, after a sound thrashing, by my wife and my little boy. For two days and nights we struggled on that lonely sidewalk against hunger and thirst and heat and exposure, and towards the end we had to resort to drinking our own urine. But it was worth it, because when 'Meet the Spartans' finally opened we were the only people in the cinema.
And what a movie it was! My own memories are a little hazy given the addled state I was in after two days in the street. For my own part, I was laughing and hollering too much at the little purple animals floating around in the cinema to notice much of the movie. I do remember bits of the trailer getting repeated over and over again, but that must have been the hallucinations as well. However I do remember my wife and my little boy found it so funny they were too astonished to laugh. After a while the exertions of the previous 2 days took their toll and they fell asleep with their precious heads lolling into my unwashed groin. But shoot, I wasn't complaining :-) All in all it was probably the greatest day of my life, and perhaps anyone's life.
I was delighted to learn that there was a 'Meet the Spartans 2'. If there was one film crying out for a sequel, it must surely be this one. As with 'Weekend at Bernie's', you just got the feeling that one movie was not enough to fully explore the vast richness of ideas on display. One can only hope it will produce more sequels than the Star Wars and the Police Academy series combined.
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Oh well. Stay away!
Can anyone verify if I got gypped?
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Also, it doesn't help that it attempts to capitalize and embody the worst shows modern television has to offer. If you are a person who can't stand watching: American Idol, MTV's Yo Mamma(real title?), that Deal or No Deal show, or Dancing With the Stars.. you will be infuriated by this film.
Very rarely do I find myself staring at the credits after a movie, feeling so ripped off.
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This movie left me speechless. I went in thinking my wise old friends were just too critical, and I came out horrified. I was expecting just some lame, stupid spoof that actually had a funny joke here and there, but all it was was just all of the vulnerable celebrities out there being teased and then pushed into a pit.
The commercials were also very misleading. They made the movie actually look half decent. But the sad yet honest truth is that the slams and teasing they call 'jokes' about the movies and celebrities were really crude, impolite, and way too overboard.
As funny as the commercials make it look, this movie is very mean, gross, and juvenile. So, just like my dear friends warned me, DON'T SEE IT.
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The Cinematic Equivalent of RapeWatching this film may cause an unpleasant sensation in the eyes and ears, prolonged exposure may lead to death via suicide.
It is suggested that those considering viewing this film consider a more productive and enjoyable use of their time. Covering your own genitalia in dog food and attempting to outrun a Rottweiler is just one of the exciting activities you may wish to consider instead of watching this film.
There is a part of this film that has merit, it is called the Credits. The Credits are a useful tool as they reveal those responsible for this abomination and enable you to avoid any of their future work.
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I sniggered at some of the jokes, but most of the scenes i was cringing, hoping that it would improve.
Funny films to watch, 'not another teen movie, Hot shots, Hot Shorts part deux,' but defiantly not this film.
Carmen Electrica is very hot, but her role in these films is growing tiresome.
It doesn't happen that often but some films i just can't watch until the end, so i'm glad i only caught this on DVD, it's just a shame i'm not able to put lower than 1 out of 10.
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The spoofs were corny and stupid and the movie was like an hour long.
The movie is like an hour of hell.
I hope they never make a movie this bad again!!!
I also would like to see a really good spoof movie in the future.. i really enjoyed scary movie 1 and 2.
One way to solve the problem is to get the Wayans bros. back into spoofing too.
Overall .5 out of 10 (yes .5)
get ready for a horrible ride of spoofs!!
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As far as acting is concerned, It is unlikely that anyone would be expecting Oscar-winning acting off such a film. Suffice to say, when asked for, the actors deliver a fulfilling act. The problem is not with the actors. It is with the script. Every other scene, I would go 'I could have made this soo much funnier'. So yeah, there we have it. But overall, I would say I liked this better than Epic Movie and Date Movie. Nowhere near the scary movies though.
So, bottom line, do not waste your time and money watching this in the theaters. Wait for it on DVD or Star Movies. On a plus side, Mad TV fans (like me) will enjoy the antiques of Nicole Parker in the film.
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I was glad that the movie was barely 90 minutes long as I couldn't stand to watch it for much longer. I would have walked out of the movie had it not been for my friend watching it with me.
The movie itself is full scenes loosely strung together, unfunny dialog, and editing that makes me wonder if Windows Movie Maker was used. Just from the opening scene there was a vomit joke (with magic vomit that disappeared the second the angle changed) and lip syncing that made a Brittany Spears concert look impressive.
Also included in the movie was Carmen Electra, the walking eye candy for their 13 year old boy target demographic. Most of the scenes she was in involved the camera focusing on her breasts or her walking around in revealing clothing.
After going to battle there was little direction to the movie, and they seemed to just wander around trying to make as many references to pop culture with as little humor as possible.
The remainder of the 'jokes' involved either product placement or homosexuality. The product placement became so frequent throughout the movie that I began to wonder if they were even making fun of it anymore.
Most of these attempts at comedy were poorly received by the audience, save a few children who also had to scream out 'eww' whenever the Spartans stood in a provocative position in their revealing clothing.
The movie ended quite abruptly, with all Leonidas and his Spartans killed and the blind incompetent spartan inadvertently running away. It ended with the cast singing 'I Will Survive' (for the second time) on an American Idol stage, and finally ending the torment of watching the movie.
Overall, I would not recommend anyone viewing this movie. The whole thing looked like it was quickly filmed and edited the month before it was released and contained barely any humor.
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Leonidas has just been made king of Sparta, and his world is rocking with his bombshell wife, Queen Margo, and life couldn't be better. But when he is challenged by the Persians, he must protect Sparta with, well, only 8 guys. But hoping that 'they will survive', they go into a battle of stomping the yard, talking smack, and even having to deal with some transformers. Leonidas is getting more and more steamed though as he realizes that the blue screen Persians may be too much for he and his team can handle.
Meet the Spartans had some really funny moments, like I loved and nearly died laughing when the Spartans were leaving their country and they left hand in hand singing 'I will Survive', it was so stupid, I know, but if you let go and have fun, I'm sure you'll laugh too. But there were things I was disappointed in, like the constant potty humor, it would be nice if the writers grew past the second grade level humor. There was some jokes that were predictable and used too many times in other spoofs. But over all this was definitely better than Epic Movie or Date Movie. If you go to see this, there are a few laughs, but don't expect the best comedy of the year.
4/10
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This movies isn't Airplane, but it is funny. More than funny, it is fun. Anyone that can fit spiderman into a movie about ancient Greece isn't all bad..
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My God. Honestly I've no idea why I even finished watching this film - maybe it was just to see how bad it could actually get, or maybe to see how many more product placements they could shove in utterly pointlessly.
I can understand a film like Wayne's World 2 putting in ACTUALLY FUNNY product placements which actually had a PURPOSE to the plot, but this? Seriously, why? The only thing good about this film is that it is incredibly short (like most Friedberg/Seltzer films).
Instead of wasting an hour of your life on this turd in a DVD case, do something more interesting like watching paint dry.
AVOID.
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In the future I am going to look for the names of the two 'creators' of this film and definitely NOT go to anything they touch. I don't trust them any longer. I hope their careers are over. I hope someone else steps in to make spoofs and parodies that actually are amusing - even funny! I would give this a '0' if IMDb allowed it. It's truly that bad!
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